I'm Not That Girl
by Runs with Werewolfs
Summary: No matter how badly she wanted to be that girl, he wanted someone she just couldn't be. Onesided CamillexKendall and Kenjo, Lamille. Based off "I'm Not That Girl" from Wicked.


**I'm Not That Girl**

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* * *

**

"Hey, Dad, I'm going to the pool" Camille Rodgers opened the door to her dad's "man cave" and peered in. Her dad looked up from where he was watching the game and smiled at his youngest daughter.

"Okay sweetie, have a good time, are you going to hang out with the girls?" He asked. "Say hi to Jo and tell her she needs to come for dinner sometime, okay?"

"I think Jo's filming today, I'll probably hang out with Courtney and Stephanie, since Stephanie just got back from France and all. Maybe the guys for a while" Camille said, referring to James Diamond's girlfriend and the girl who had been crushing on the ever-clueless and ever-naïve Carlos Garcia for over a year. Besides, Camille wasn't very thrilled with Jo right then. Call it jealousy, but why did Jo get everything Camille wanted lately. Jo didn't rub it in Camille's face, she wasn't that kind of person, but it still hurt to have Jo come out to Hollywood to be a singer and now have a hit show, while Camille was still only getting little bit parts. It sucked.

"Oh, well make sure they know their welcome too." Her dad smiled and turned back to his game, not even noticing his daughter's sudden mood change. To him, Camille was getting bit parts and that was enough for him. He was her biggest fan whether she was an actress or a cashier at the local McDonalds. He didn't care.

Camille nodded and headed down stairs. She passed Katie Knight in the lobby and waved at her. "Hey, Katie. "

"Hey Camille!" Katie smiled brightly and looked back down at her game, body moving to the direction she was making her character go. Camille smiled and moved through the doors, rolling her eyes as the Jennifer's made their slow motion entrance.

"Camille!"

Camille glanced in the direction of the voice calling her name. Kendall Knight ran towards her and pulled her into a hug. Ever since Camille had stopped slapping Kendall just for the fun of it, Kendall had started liking her more, and paying her more attention. She liked that attention from him, because for a minute, just a minute, it was like Camille was getting what Jo had lost, rather than Jo having everything as usual. Camille had found herself falling for Kendall, hard, the last couple weeks, and who could blame her? With his messy blond hair and the bright green eyes and the dorky grin he always offered whenever James or Carlos did something moronic as usual.

Camille could probably call Kendall her best guy friend at this point. He knew more about her than Logan did. She and Logan had broken up after the James incident, and while Camille completely regretted kissing James and breaking Logan's heart, she had to wonder if maybe she wasn't with Logan because she was meant to be with Kendall in the end. Kendall had been the only one of the guys who hadn't shunned her even a little bit after the break up. James had been too awkward around her, although now he was fine, and Logan had been too upset, so he had avoided her. And then there was sweet Carlos, who had been upset that she had hurt Logan and refused to even look at Camille for a solid month and had given James the silent treatment for a week until Gustavo had threatened to skin Carlos and mount him to the wall if he didn't start talking to James and singing when James was around again. She completely understood were Carlos was coming from, if, say, Jo and Logan kissed, she too would be more than a little upset with both of them for a while and wouldn't talk to either one for even longer. She and Carlos were fine now, and with him, once he was fine, he completely forgot he'd even been mad.

"Hey, how are you?" Kendall asked, stepping away.

"I'm good." Camille smiled. "How's Jo?"

"Great. Today's her day off, so we were just going to hang out at the pool all day, but Jett's trying to get in her pants again. So she's up in her apartment until Jett goes to film his guest spot on _Alexis Texas_ or whatever. Do you want to hang out?"

"Sure" Camille let Kendall lead her over to a set of lounge chairs and sat down on one.

Kendall stood over her for a minute. "Do you want a smoothie? I'll pay?"

"Sure" Camille nodded and watched him bounce off to go get them. He was a ball of energy sometimes, and yet other times, he was so chill. She slightly wondered if maybe he was bipolar, because it could literally switch at the most random moments. One moment, Kendall could be dead asleep and the next thing you knew, he was bouncing around. It was probably the year of living with Carlos, because James and Logan could be the same way.

Kendall bounced back, bright red smoothies in either hand. "Here you go" he said with a smile.

Camille leaned back into her chair, wondering what it would be like if this was always the way it was. If Kendall was hers. She was give anything to be his girlfriend, but she knew Jo would never let that fly.

**

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**

Camille put her chin into her hands, watching as Jo flounced over to Kendall. She felt her heartbreak as Kendall wrapped a loving arm around her and kissed her softly. She wished that was her. She couldn't even act on her feelings like she had with Logan because Jo would ruin her if she did.

She felt someone sit down next to her and looked around. Stephanie put her hand on Camille's arm and smiled as Courtney sat down next to Stephanie, and offered a smile. "Hey, what's wrong?" Stephanie asked.

"Nothing, just thinking" Camille smiled.

Courtney glanced over at Kendall and Jo. "She's so irritating sometimes. I mean, she's a great friend, but how guys just throw themselves all over her and how she gets everything she wants. It gets old, doesn't it?" Courtney mused. "I mean, I haven't known her for a year like you have, but she just bugs me"

Camille nodded. "I love her, she's my best friend, but it does get hard when she's so perfect and I'm not."

Stephanie sighed. "Okay, this sounds cheesy, but nobody's perfect, Cam. Jo probably has crap in her life that we don't even know about. I know it's hard, but you're great too. I bet you're going to get a huge role in a huge movie and then everyone will love you and you'll do amazing!." She encouraged. "In fact, both of you, when I make my first real movie, consider yourselfs cast members."

Courtney laughed. "Steph, I'm here as a songwriter and I want to be a producer. But thanks anyways" she grinned. "The point it, Cam, don't sell yourself short, because you're amazing too."

Camille shrugged. "I know. It's just-Why does he love her and not me?"

"Kendall?" Stephanie clarified. Camille nodded. "You like him?"

"I do. I know it's stupid, but I can't help it. He's cute."

"He is." Courtney agreed. "I mean, he's a great guy and all. But I don't know, I think he and Jo are meant to be somehow. I don't know what is, but the way he looks at her-"

"I wish someone would look at me like that" Camille sighed.

* * *

Behind a bush, Logan Mitchell felt his heart break. He'd never stopped loving Camille, not for one minute, really. He still savored the moments he got to see her, got to hug her, got to make her smile. They said that absence made the heart grow fonder, and for sure for Logan, he loved Camille all the more now.

But she'd chosen Kendall, from what she was telling Stephanie and Courtney. She loved Kendall, not Logan. Logan would always be second fiddle to Kendall, no matter how hard he tried. Maybe it was better to forget about what he and Camille had, and forget how she made him feel and move on, like she had. He should be the one who moved on first, he left her. But He didn't ever think he'd be over her completely.

Logan sighed, frustrated. Kendall would never choose Camille, but Camille might never choose him. He supposed he deserved it, with his weird excuse about why they should break up. Because most first romances don't last wasn't a good excuse, and Logan knew it. Let's break up to get it out of the way was a jerk move, and Logan knew it. Quoting the statistics was a stupid thing to do, and Logan had known it the moment he'd said it. He deserved to be miserable.

He stood up, walking away from his hiding spot. He only wished one day, any day, he could make it up to Camille. Let her know that he knew how stupid he'd been. Let her know he really loved her. Let her know he'd discovered that he didn't want to be without her, and he only wished she felt the same way as he did. That he could, for once and for all, make things right between the two of them, and then ride off into the sunset. Although he suspected James and Kendall might prefer if they drove off into the sunset instead.

"Logan!"

Logan turned around as James ran up. "Hey, what's with your shirt-?" Logan asked. His taller best friend's white shirt was covered in a red substance.

James glanced down, pulling the shirt away. "Oh. Katie decided to pelt me with water balloons filled with Kool-Aid. Carlos got her back though, he hid her cash box, she's furious. Have you seen Courtney?"

"She and Stephanie and Camille are talking by the pool." Logan said, dejected.

James turned to leave and paused. "What's wrong?" he asked, wrinkling his eyebrows together and tilting his head to the side.

"Nothing." Logan said. "I've just spent too much time in the past, and not enough in the present."

James raised an eyebrow and then shrugged, walking away.

**

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**

Camille stood over Kendall. He had fallen asleep, and Jo had left. She sighed, wishing she could just wake him up and tell him how she felt. Kendall's affection wasn't worth loosing Jo, but at the same time, Camille wanted to have something that Jo was jealous of so badly that it made her sick. She wished she could just have what she wanted for once.

She could just imagine what it would be like to date Kendall. He'd help her with her auditions and he'd be honest with her when he didn't think something was right, unlike Logan or James. He'd hold her and never let go. He'd be that perfect guy, the guy Jo always raved about. The guy who could do know wrong and his girl, the girl who he adored. Only this time, instead of a blonde girl with dark black eyebrows on his arm, it would be a brunette girl with a flair for dramatics. It would be Camille.

Camille sat down on the chair that Jo had vacated, a single tear falling down her cheek. She'd never be that girl. No matter how badly she wanted to be that girl, he wanted someone she just couldn't be.

She looked up as she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Carlos?" she choked.

Carlos offered her a smile. "Stephanie told me." Carlos said simply. "It hurts, doesn't it?"

Camille nodded. "What does she have that I don't, other than a career?"

Carlos shrugged and offered her his hand. "Come on, Camille. Don't sit here feeling sorry for yourself. Let's go do something fun." He offered.

Camille smiled and let him drag her to where James, Stephanie and Courtney were sitting. He pushed her down into a chair next to James and sat next to her. "So!" he said loudly. "I think we should play apples to apples!"

"You do realize Apples to Apples isn't a game where you eat apples, right?" James inquired.

Carlos's face fell. "I knew that"

"Sure you did" Stephanie said with a grin.

"I did!" Carlos insisted.

"Well, what did you think it was?" James asked.

"A game where apples eat YOU" Carlos pointed at James and glared. "Mr. Know it all!"

Camille rolled her eyes, and turned slightly away from the irate Carlos, watching as Logan slouched his way over to Kendall dejectedly, shoulder's hunched, feet dragging, hands stuffed into his pocket. Not typical Logan behavior at all. Stephanie noticed it too, because she elbowed Courtney and pointed at Logan. Courtney raised an eyebrow and glanced over at James and Carlos, who were too busy argueing over Camille's head to notice Logan. With a roll of her eyes, she stood up and shoved her chair in, heading over to Logan.

She came back 5 minutes later, an arm around Logan's shoulder, and offered him her chair before motioning for Camille and Stephanie to join her. "Tell them" she commanded, hooking arms with Camille and Stephanie. "Let's go see what Jo's up too, and make sure Jett doesn't have her in any compromising positions" she suggested, dragging Camille and Stephanie upstairs.

James and Carlos watched the girls leave and then looked at Logan. "What's she on about?" James asked. Knowing Courtney, it could be anything, really. Courtney could easily match Camille in dramatics, except Courtney would be dramatic for no apparent reason, just to be dramatic. She had a way of getting herself and everyone else worked up about everything.

Logan shrugged. "Courtney's over reacting. I was just not thrilled that Camille's in love with Kendall. I miss Camille"

James's eyes widened and Carlos's expression changed from curious to shocked. "But-Jo's her best friend" Carlos protested. "She wouldn't do that to Jo."

"Carlos, I heard her say it with my own ears. She's upset that Jo is getting everything right now." Logan mumbled. "Guys, Kendall can't know, okay? If he finds out, he'll feel bad about Camille and things will get weird and Camille will get even more upset. She doesn't know I know, she only thinks Stephanie and Courtney know."

Carlos nodded. "Right. Don't tell Kendall!"

James sighed. "But you miss her?" he asked.

"I-I do" Logan admitted. "I think I've figured out two things since breaking up with her. You and her kissing never meant anything to either of you, and it wasn't nice of me to just be fine with you and break up with her. And I can't go without her, I'd do anything to get her back."

James nodded. "I think-"

"Oh no, James is thinking. Hide!" Carlos shouted, diving under the table.

James kicked him. "Get up, you turd. Anyways, I think if it's meant to work out, it will. Camille can't go on loving Kendall from the sidelines forever, I mean, she basically attacked you. She'll crack eventually, right?"

Logan nodded. "Yes, she'll break and attack Kendall or have a break down. Why does dating have to be so confusing?"

Carlos's head popped out from underneath the table. "It just is. I still can't figure out why Stephanie twirls a piece of her hair whenever I'm around and bats her eyelashes"

James leaned over and cupped his hand to Carlos's ear. "She likes you, you moron!"he shouted loudly. Carlos jumped away, sprawling across the floor.

Logan rolled his eyes. "I so need new friends" he announced.

* * *

Camille watched as Jo wrapped her arms around Kendall's neck, letting him lift her up in the air. She giggled and he put her down, running his fingers through her hair. She put her head down on the table and shook her head. Why couldn't she have that? Maybe she wasn't as charming or as flirtatious as Jo was, but she wasn't as experienced with guys either. She'd had Logan, and that was it. Maybe if someone wanted her, she'd be able to get over the fact that HE didn't want her. But guys weren't exactly lining up to take her on dates.

She watched as Logan and James carried something through the pool area, a wacky grin on James's face, a nervous look on Logan's. She just hoped whatever they were up to this time, they weren't going to involve her.

She sighed as Carlos sat down next to her again. "You know, making yourself miserable isn't going to help anyone" Carlos informed her. "Live life, silly. Let's go get ice cream!"

"I don't like ice cream" Camille lied. She was fine dreaming about what she could never have. She was an actress, she could just ACT like the fact that Jo was everything Camille could ever want to be didn't bother her.

Carlos rolled his eyes. "Oh, so you eat huge amounts of it to kill it, right? I've seen you and ice cream, let's go!" he said, tugging on her hand.

Camille let him pull her to the small ice cream store about a block away. "Order what ever you want!" Carlos announced, pulling out a wad of cash. "James is paying!"

Something told Camille that back home, James was currently cussing Carlos out. She settled for a small vanilla cone. Carlos got a huge bowl of- well, Camille wasn't quite sure WHAT and they began walking back to the Palmwoods.

"So, any good auditions lately?" Carlos asked.

"I landed a little bit part in the new Dak Zevon movie." Camille said. "I have like 5 lines or something."

"Still, that's something, right?" Carlos grinned and took a bite of his ice cream. "And Dak's really popular, I bet you'll start getting more roles now! You deserve it."

"Thanks. " Maybe Camille didn't need a boyfriend. She had Carlos and James and whenever Logan stopped hiding in corners, and she did have Kendall as a friend. That was 3 more Big Time Rush members as friends than Jo had. Jo spent all her time with Kendall, so it was really no surprise that she probably didn't know much about the other 3. It would be nice to have a boyfriend, and she did want one more than anything else, but she had great friends.

After a few more minutes of walking along eating their frozen treats, the pair arrived back at the Palmwoods. Carlos hooked his arm into Camille's and dragged her upstairs, saying that she should play dome hockey with him and then they could play with Swirly. For a brief moment, she forgot that the boys had a swirly slide in their apartment, so she wasn't quite sure what Carlos was talking about.

Carlos dragged her into the apartment, making a huge racket and hollering and yammering. When he burst through the door, using his helmeted head as a battering ram, Camille gasped.

Logan was standing off to one side with a dozen roses in one hand and a nervous smile on his face. "Hey, Camille" he said softly.

"Logan?" Camille asked questioningly, blinking.

"Come here" Logan requested.

Camille came forward slowly, eyes wide. Logan smiled awkwardly and opened his arms, offering her a hug. She let him wrap his arms around her, burying her head into his neck. "What's all this"?" she asked.

Logan smiled and pulled away, taking her hand. He led her to the obnoxiously colored couch and pulled her down to it. "I never stopped loving you, Camille. I know you love Kendall now, and I know I said I only wanted to be friends and I know I was kind of a jerk when I broke up with you- why I broke up with you was a complete jerk move." Logan sighed. "Just because 96% of all first romances end in breaks up didn't mean we had to and you and James kissing was an opportunity. We could have been that 4 percent"

Camille blinked. "I-I don't understand"

Logan looked down. "I want a second chance, Camille. I know you aren't into me anymore, but can we just-try to get back to where we were? I don't think I can live without you"

"Who said I stopped loving you?" Camille wrapped her arms around Logan's neck and grinned at him. All it had taken was him confessing he still loved her to make her realize- Kendall was just a crush, and she would never be what he wanted because they were only meant to be friends. Logan, on the other hand, was something so much more real. She and Logan were like a puzzle, they fit together perfectly, no matter what.

"But you loved Kendall"

Camille grinned and kissed him softly. "I think that was just a crush. I feel right with you."

Logan smiled. "So you're my girlfriend then?" he asked. Camille smiled, he was so awkward about everything.

"Yes. And this time, I don't need Kendall and James in a horse suit before I'll accept you-that was really kind of unfair, wasn't it?" she realized.

"Yeah, it kind of was. I was so nervous and freaking out." Logan laughed. "But it's okay"

Camille put her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes as he wrapped his arms around her. She'd only had her eyes closed for a minute when Logan cleared his throat. "Can we just make a pact right now, that no matter what happens, we'll try to stay together?" he asked.

Camille laughed and snuggled closer to him. "I thought that that was a given" she grinned. She may not be the girl for Kendall, but for Logan- she was that girl. It wasn't blonde hair and a tv star that Logan wanted. It was her. And that felt amazing and she would be happy as long as that was true. She wasn't born to be the girl on a magazine cover every week. She'd be happy with a c or b list career and no drama. She'd be happy with Logan, in the end. Something inside her just knew it.

* * *

A/N: Okay, all my slash fans, DON'T KILL ME! I just love this song and then this idea came to me and I have no idea WHY! BUT I had to write it. I actually really like this, all the angst from both of them and then the happy ending. I feel bad because Kendall's kind of the bad guy in this, or just clueless. And I don't know about all of you, but If I was Camille, I'd get frustrated with Jo landing a starring role and me not landing much. Plus, in case you haven't figured out, I REALLY like Camille, but can't stand Jo on the show. In real life, I like Katelyn Tarver, but Erin Sanders in still the better of the two in my opinion.

And IDK, I've never written Camille before. What do ya'll think?


End file.
